why so serious , batman?
by catmagnent
Summary: Batman and Robin are alerted to a break out at arkham asylum. Comissioner Gordon gets the dynamic duo some unexpceted help. Who masterminded the break out? And who comes to help? Read and see.


i own nothing of sherlock holmes. or batman..or miss marple. but i do love the crimes they help solve. these people kick ass.

dammit lestraud..bellowed out comissioner gordon. i thought i told you to bring your best detective with you. whats his name again..holmes.. i think you said.

sherlock holmes. sir. said c.i. lestraud.

batman and robin will be here shortly. we must get their insight on this latest crime. said gordon as he hung his head low. today for him was a dark day in gotham city. somehow the four most dangerous criminal killers had escaped from arkham asylum. but how did they manage to escape..batman made sure that the place was secure and none of the criminals had any hidden picks or devices on or in them.

maybe they had a little help getting out sir. said lestraud casually.

oh keep trying to reach sherlock and his side kick doctor watson. stammered gordon angrily.

yes sir. lestraud muttered as he picked up the phone again and called the london police department.

after a few minutes batman and robin showed up to see about any details the police have gotten so far.

lestraud was still talking to his lead officer about where sherlock and watson are exactly.

theyre where...bellowed out lestraud angrily. saint mary meade. okay okay okay okay..just make sure they get on a plane and get to gotham city and now.

okay thank you. . said lestraud.

theyve gone to saint mary meade to retrieve doctor watsons aunt. miss jane marple. said lestraud. so when they do get here..or i should say if they get here be a gentleman around miss jane marple. shes a right firey one she is.

whats the details of the arkham break out. said batman.

we have very little to go on as yet batman. but the only thing i know right now is that they had someone help them escape. but i feel there is someone else behind this whole mess. said comissioner gordon.

why is there an english inspector here at gotham p.d. asked batman.

he is here because their is a very notorious criminal mastermind that escaped capture in london and came here to gotham. the london ploice have tracked this criminal this far. and he has called his best detective on this one. please work with them on this case. said comissioner gordon half hoping and half pleading with the caped crusader.

thats why we are londons finest detectives and sleuths. came a voice from the office doorway.

the voice belonged to sherlock holmes. and in his company was doctor watson and the great miss jane marple.

oh praise the maker. you three have made it safe and sound. said lestraud happily.

so this is sherlock holmes and the doctor watson. said batman. im supposed to work with these gents eh.. and batman turned on a heel and began to walk out the door. he paused briefly and turned around. doctor watson..you may come with us if you wish.

but batman..began gordon.

no buts comissioner. we have to get a jump on this matter. which ones got out..asked batman.

the penguin. the riddler. catwoman. and the joker. said gordon.

damn. was the reply from batman.

whos the mastermind suspected behind all this bullshit..asked robin angrily.

an english professor by the name of james moriarity. said c.i. lestraud.

sherlock was about to open his mouth and say something but miss marple belted him in the gut and told him to hush.

now mister batman sir..began miss marple. do you have room enough for another passenger in your batmobile.

batman sighed. very bad start to a case. slowed by a couple of tag alongs.

the batmobile converted into a four seater and the passengers were told to get in and buckle up. and they did as they were told.

the dynamic duo got in and buckled up a bulletproof cover raised up over the sitting area. then the batmobile zipped off down the road and took a hard right. they were half way to the crossway express when miss marple spoke up and asked for some background information on the villians they will be going up against.

the penguin. dangerous and devious. knows alot about chemestry and gasses. developed a weapon for nerve gas. specifically on how to make it a killer gas. and he succeeded too. also knows weaponry. the riddler. a former circus booth worker that told riddles to people. if they got them right they got a prize. get them wrong and he would kill them. hes notorious for his brain teasing riddles. some of which can lead you to a bomb or their next place to be robbed. a clever killer when it comes to his famous jack in the box traps and tricks.

the catwoman..a former member of the army. honorably discharged. she was trained as a survivalist and an assasin. shes also a sniper. shes a trained killer. and an uncanny thief. be wary of her. shes armed even when you think shes not. the joker. a true leader of the criminal element. he killed supermans nemisis lex luthor. and even superman couldnt bring himself to kill luthor. but apparently the joker wanted to be established as the leader. so he killed him in cold blood. but the joker has a side to him thats unlike any other. he has the ability to recruit people to join his group and do his bidding. said robin.

how horrible. said both watson and miss marple.

it is indeed. said batman. now tell me of james moriarity.

hes a true criminal mastermind if there ever was one. hes devious and brilliant. he invents weapons to fit up against the human body and designed to work with nerve impulses or with twitches of certain muscles. hes a cold killer. sherlock and i had a damned good go around with him four years ago. we had pursued him to the tower of london after he had robbed a bank and a jewlery store all in the same night. he got away in a hot air balloon called the laughing stock. we captured one at the hot air balloon races and pursued him. little did sherlock and i know that he had armed that damned thing. an automatic gatlin gun and enough damned explosives to level a four square city block. he wanted to ensure that if we had killed him he was going to kill us too. we were over the thames river when he opened fire on us. sherlock was hit twice in his right arm and i in my left arm. we went down in the middle of the thames. he got away. said watson.

so thats how you and sherlock got sick and i had to look after the both of you. shrieked miss marple. john watson why do you insist on being sherlocks flat mate. sometimes i dont see the reason for it.

we are here. lets go. said batman.

wait wait wait. said watson. there should be police and some of the guards standing around. but you dont see any do you. why is that huh.. because theyre all dead or gassed.

youre right. said batman. he radioed back to comissioner gordon that no officers were outside to patrol the grounds.

gordon pounded his fists time and again on his desk. dammit dammit dammit dammitdammit to hell. bellowed comissioner gordon.

sherlock why dont you and c.i. lestraud go with police units 38 and 42 to arkham asylum and help out the situation. said comissioner gordon.

harvey two face walked in about that time. he had been outsted from the criminal gangs and he reverted back to being the district attorney for gotham city. he was looking foreward to putting away the ones that outsted him. he was going to unleash a bit of anarchy his own self. he was going to draw in all the known villians and have gothams newest super avengers put them away for good.

so the message went out. and the offer was too good to pass up. a chance to work with gothams most notorious villians and the joker himself. the new leader of the league of villians. who could pass that up. one by one they came bringing a tribute to the joker. and pledging their loyalty to him if he would accept them.

the crime rate in gotham went through the roof. batman called in superman and the wonder woman and she called the green lantern and the martian manhunter. they in turn brought along one of the xmen that was staying with wonder woman. wolverine was being briefed on the situation at hand.

sherlock holmes..doctor watson..miss jane marple along with batman and robin are working this case so far. the criminal leaders are aligning themselves with the joker. and theyre causing more problems for the overwhealmed gotham police force. if new york has s.h.i.e.l.d...gotham has the justice league one xmen and londons finest detctives plus batman and robin. surely the criminals will be caught or killed. said comissioner gordon.

lets hope we still have a city when all this is over. said officer james o hara.

i agree. said comissioner gordon. i agree.

to comissioner gordon when officer ohara said he hoped there was a city left when this is over..it sounded like a prayer more than a sentiment. but if it was a prayer comissioner gordon prayed it too. both men of the gotham police department looked out of the fourth floor window and knew down on the streets below crime and poverty ran amuck. off in the horizon a couple of buildings were burning. one other building had collapsed due to it being on fire earlier. it was completely destroyed.

elsewhere batman took doctor watson to the bat cave and began to analyze some of the surveilance video from arkham security. while robin and miss jane marple and sherlock holmes took more pictures and gathered some statements from some of the guards that had been knocked unconcious and tied up. but chief inspector lestraud had misgivings about being near arkham asylum. it made him very uneasy and down right uncomfortable. it was right next to a cemetary and that cemetary had a few names he had heard about on the international news syndicate.

there was catlady..real name lady marie daae shakure born on sept. 22 1945. died on december 18 1999.

another was scarecrow..real name..john demay willikins jr. born on aug. 10 1918. died on july 22 2011.

one of english note was the name jack the ripper. real name..jack michael st. johns. born january 1 1925. died june 18 1997.

and one other name he did recognise was one of his family members from way back. sir michael henery james lestraud sr. born may 27 1804. died on november 11 1874.

c.i. lestraud wrote the name down and the date of birth and date of death. then he pulled out his camera phone and took a picture of the headstone. he saved it to his family folder and continued about the task at hand.

get wonder woman out of there and into a clearing.. shouted robin as his voice rang out over the emergency frequency of the police radio.

batgirl piloted the bat jet over downtown gotham city. super girl lowered the rescue basket down and wonder womans body was gently placed in the basket and covered with a blanket. attached to her cape was a list of her injuries and her blood type. together supergirl and batgirl raced to save wonder womans life. super girl began to scan woner womans body for fractures. and at the same time she began to stitch up some of the shallow and superficial wounds.

three fractures and one vertebrae broken. said supergirl. theres no time for hospitals. im going to repair her broken spinal vertebrae right now.

wolverine had snuck aboard and offered to help.

she needs a blood transfusion. she has type ab positive. whats your blood type wolverine. asked supergirl.

im ab positive. said wolverine. i will donate blood to save her life. plus i can repair that backbone of hers thats busted. my blood carries with it the factors for instantaneous healing of broken bones and wounds.

wow. really..you arent joking are you. said supergirl. just put the bat jet in hover mode bat girl. while i get wonder woman and wolverine set for a blood transfusion.

will do. said batgirl. now to put it in hover mode here above the clouds.

as the bat jet hovered above the clouds..super girl prepped wolverine for a blood transfusion to help save wonder womans life.

there we go. said super girl. hang in there wonder woman.

the blood from wolverine flowed through the tube and into wonder woman. the whole proceedure lasted three minutes. and wonder womans color improved and her wounds began to heal up. super girl used her xray vision to watch as wonder womans shattered vertebrae miraculously repaired itself.

good as new. muttered super girl.

she reached over and disconnected the needle from wolverine and also the one from wonder woman.

where..where am i..asked a groggy wonder woman.

youre in the bat jet hovering at 35 thousand feet. and you just had your life saved by wolverine. said super girl.

i just what..shrieked wonder woman. he saved my life..how..

he donated his blood to save your life. it contains the makings for instantaneous healing. wether it is a broken bone or deep wounds. his blood heals them all. and his blood healed all of your wounds.

elsewhere sherlock and miss marple were comparing notes. and watched as the jokers time clock appeared onto the big screen in gotham square. and below it came the words...tick tock tick tock..is gothams time almost up..

people began to panic. they had been alerted to which products to avoid. and which water sources were clean for drinking. the gotham general public knew one thing. they had to get the hell out of gotham city or risk loosing their lives. streets were crowded with people packing up their belongings and getting out of gotham. the highways going out of gotham were extremely busy. people couldnt get out fast enough.

doctor watson alerted sherlock and miss marple that time was ticking away and only three of the hundreds that remain have been caught and re confined to the cells at arkham asylum and prison.

catwoman ...riddler...and the penguin have been caught and locked back away. said batman.

but as quickly as life can come it can go. thats what every gotham police officer was told. and it was on a dog tag they wore around their necks. from the comissioner to the newest police officer.

batman got a list of the criminal cronies that had been caught or killed. also a second list of names of gotham police officers that had been killed in the line of duty since the seige of crime in gotham.

batman noticed one name on that list that hit him hard. officer james o hara. killed in the line of duty october 22 2012. batman choked back some tears but one managed to roll down his face and come out from under his cowl. he threw back his head and let out a gutteral yell of anguish and anger. he also read who had killed him..the joker.

batman swore to kill the joker for the murder of his friend..officer o hara.

sherlock and his crew made it onto the scene to help out the remaining superheroes fighting to catch the cronies and one remaining supervillian. the joker.

the fight continues. the green lantern shows up and catches all of the remaining cronies and drops them all into the waiting steel cage superman had constructed. now for the joker and moriarity.

super girl and bat girl along with wonder woman and wolverine had managed to get back to the bat cave and start searching for the joker and james moriarity.

they have to be in a place to broadcast safely and hideout as well. said bat girl.

just then alfred walked into the batcave with snacks for the heroes of the day.

wolverine ate his with gusto. a meal of steak and potatoes..just fit for a person who saved some lives today and donated blood. while the others took their time about eating their chunky vegetable beef with barley soup and club sandwiches.

thanks alfred. came the happily munching voices of bat girl..barbara gordon..super girl..jamie o hara.. and wolverine..john logan.

alfred turned and walked out of the room and let the trio do some work for the good of all citizens of gotham.

robin and superman and the flash went to go find out where the four nuclear warheads were located.

number one..under the north west corner of town. superman quickly dug it up and along came the green lantern and took it into space.

number two..northeast section of town. super girl hurridly zipped along and snagged it. she also zipped it into space.

number three was located under the southwest part of gotham. superman himself took it to outer space and sent it towards the green lantern who in turn sent it away towards where super girl was...near the asteroid belt heading towards the sun.

still had to find number four before its too late..

meanwhile back down on the streets...

sherlock was having a good go around fist fight with some yahoo cronie that used to be the former gotham heavyweight boxing champion. while robin and miss marple were taking on some more cronies. but after a while miss marple grew tired of just using her judo and her boxing skills on cronies. she pulled out her .44 magnum desert eagle and began to kill off the ones brave and stupid enough to get in her way.

five minutes later miss marple ran out of bullets for her desert eagle.

oh bloody hell im outta ammo for my gun. ive got knitting needles. said miss marple.

with that said she pulled out a couple of energy shots and let out a witch hazel squeally cackle and began to punctuate her foes. plucking out eyes and knitting hairs into a tight weave for an afgahn blanket. when her foes began screeching in pain..whock..came a knitting needle through the juggular vein in the neck.

when knitting needles grew tiresome she pulled out two steel hat pins. each one measured nine inches. and again with the wild witchy cackle and a wild look in her eyes she lept up on one paticularly tall and heavyset baddie and dug in her hat pins in his neck and steered him like a frankenstein on remote control.

now club that one. jeered miss marple.

clongg..down went another baddie.

now those two..take them out..said miss marple in a hiss.

and again..clonggg...two more down.

oh yessss this is so much fun...squealed miss marple in a high pitched squeal of delight.

she dug her heels into the sides of her mule and kept on taking out the baddies as she puts it. and the other heroes that had been fighting along side her and robin and sherlock with doctor watson were watching proper english lady miss jane marple let her hair down and kill off some of the bad guys at her whim and leisure.

the joker and james moriarity let their voices ring out all over gotham city.

people of gotham this is james moriarity along with my assistant the joker. time is up. pay the 100 billion dollar ransom or your city will perish into the earth forever.

they did not know the four nuclear warheads had been found and taken into outer space and disposed of properly.

time to say your prayers gotham and die with dignity. said the joker with a smile.

they had pressed the button to detonate the bombs in sequential order. but nothing happened. they made frequency adjustments and tried again with the button. still nothing.

did you set the timers or did you leave them off as i asked you to do. asked moriarity.

i left the timers off as you said to do james. said the joker.

batman and robin

superman and supergirl

wonder woman and batgirl

the green lantern and wolverine

miss marple and doctor john watson

sherlock holmes and c.i. lestraud

watched as the gotham city police stormed the television studio where the joker and james moriarity were doing their broadcasts from. all from the live video feed still being shown in gotham square.

let me go you daft fool..bellowed moriarity. do you know who i even am.

not again. moaned the joker sadly. you promised we would not be caught.

moriarity looked at the joker and kicked him square in the balls.

now we are even you whiny ugly ass circus clown reject. bellowed moriarity .

the joker held himself while they led moriarity out in chains.

i know im ugly. but he is actually uglier than me. his teeth are rotten. said the joker. and im not a circus clown reject. i was a gangster..a hitman for hire. i was made this way when i fell into a vat of toxic chemicals. my real name is jack fucking napier.

six months later gotham was still burying its dead. criminals in one cemetary and police officers in another. altogether eighteen police officers died during the crimewave seige . but the word got out of how the gotham police department fought alongside some of americas finest heroes and three of englands finest and fiesty heroes all to take back the control of the law of their city. it took four days for the entire mess of criminal masterminds to be locked away at the new arkham asylum and prison.

district attorney harvey two face dent loved his job once again. he had put away the most vile and villanous criminals that had ever walked the streets of gotham city.

over in new york at the s.h.i.e.l.d office a memo came up to nick furys desk.

from the office of the gotham city police department comissioner. from the desk of gotham city police comissioner james gordon. to s.h.i.e.l.d agent nick fury.

dear mister nick fury..you have the avengers team. they are iron man..the black widow..captain america..the incredible hulk..the norse god of thunder thor..and hawkeye the archer.

my team the gotham city avengers are as follows..wonder woman. superman. super girl. batman and robin. batgirl and xman wolverine. along with sherlock holmes and doctor john watson with his aunt miss jane marple. and the green lantern.

respectfully you need to ask these people to be a part of s.h.i.e.l.d. because if you dont you are a bigger fool than i believe you to be.

sincerly..comissioner james gordon...gotham police department.

when nick fury read the letter he burst out laughing.

can you believe this shit.. spurted nick fury. they want me to invite some more super heroes to join shield. this is so fucking unreal.

but if you think about it this way sir. began agent schaver jr. they could be useful in their own way.

are you serious..shouted nick fury. these people got lucky when they took on a four day seige of crime in gotham city. im not doing a damn thing with these people. they can be recommended by a police comissioner all day long. but until i hear it from the president it dont really make a diffrence.

and at that point nick fury tossed the letter into his shredder and took another drink of his scotch and ginger ale. who cares anyway. he thought.

and he looked at a picture of batman. then he smiled and afforded himself a chuckle and another drink of scotch and ginger ale.

why so serious batman..said nick fury in his best joker impersonation voice.


End file.
